Roebucking

Roebucking is a term that I coined after the suspicious death of Peter Roebuck.

To Roebuck (verb) is:

The act of taking, often with great enthusiasm, a rattan cane to the pert, naked buttocks of a young, black, aspiring cricket player. Often an orphan or youngster in ones care.

“After failing to make a half century, young Ngambo was given a thorough Roebucking by his coach.”

Little did I know at the time, that young Itai Gondo had been lured for a thorough Roebucking:

Bring a stick so I can give you a good old fashioned Roebucking

Sadly, I don’t think that young Itai is making it up.

For many years, rumours and allegations have swirled around the sporting community about the late Mr Roebuck’s predilections and proclivities.

Whilst it may be seen to be in bad taste to “speak ill of the dead”, one must “think of the children”.

Jesus is a cunt – Fred Nile, and the lunatic fringe

Fred Nile is a lunatic.

Homophobia, Fred Nile and Jesus (is a cunt)

Any reasonable person would certainly find this man to be beyond the realms of sanity, and in a more enlightened era, he would be committed to an institution.

Nile is a man obsessed with sex, particularly when it occurs between two consenting men or two consenting women.

He spends his evenings dreaming about homosexuality, praying for bad things to happen to homosexuals and attempting to force his own twisted views on the citizens of NSW.

He hates gays, muslims, atheists, and anyone else who doesn’t conform to said twisted views.

His latest outburst – Fred Nile links ethics classes to the advent of the next Hitler – is yet another example of why religion should never, ever have a place in politics.

Nile is attempting to blackmail the NSW Premier – Barry O’Farrell, into removing ethics classes from NSW schools.

He wants them replaced with scripture classes, claiming that ethics lead to communism and Nazi ideology.

Apparently he is serious, to quote:

“It’s relative ethics, which is the basis of secular humanism and I believe … this is the philosophy we saw during World War II with the Nazis and with the communists.

Situation ethics, as I see it, was followed by other regimes such as the Nazis and communists.

Situation ethics means nothing is right and nothing is wrong … Therefore, you can kill human beings without any embarrassment and any reservations.

It’s a very dangerous philosophy.”

Of course, secular humanism is very dangerous indeed.

Look at all the atrocities committed on a daily basis by secular humanists.

They bomb abortion clinics, gun down school children attending camps, persecute homosexuals, fly planes into buildings, build walls around land that they steal from the rightful owners…

We see it in the news daily.

Fred Nile particularly hates pornography, so much so, that his personal login on his parliamentary computer was used to “investigate” over 200,000 pornographic websites:

Fred Nile really, really, really hates porn

Of course, it was just for “research purposes”.

He just wanted to see what kind of filth that your common secular humanist reprobate got up to in their spare time so that he could save them from it.

This is a man who, every Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, prays for rain.

This is a man who wants to foist his twisted superstitious views on the fertile minds of innocent school children, yet wishes to ban traditional Islamic dress.

This is a man who is actively campaigning against pagan weddings.

This is the man who holds such power in the NSW senate that he is able to blackmail the democratically elected premier of the state into incorporating the views of the lunatic fringe minority, into removing classes from public (not Christian) schools that teach children secular ethics.

He would have them replaced with a doctrine that says that it is ok to hate homosexuals, that anyone who is different from you is evil.

This is a very, very evil man.

You can email this bigot at:

F.Nile@parliament.nsw.gov.au

Congregaticide – neticide – socialmediacide – fuck those facebook whores

 

Order generic viagra

 

I have had enough, so it is time for a rant.

I hate people – loathe them in fact, always wanting something from you like knowledge about how your day has been, how you are, what is happening in your world… when all that they really want is to steal some precious oxygen and prompt you to query them on things of vast importance to them but which have absolutely no merit to you (or anyone else for that matter).

The rhetorical questions that we ask one another in our daily lives, as if by rote, have been amplified through “social media phenomenons” like facebook and twitter.

Whilst I am a self confessed user of both – it makes sense in the industry that pays me to laze about drinking wine on the weekends; I loathe the new cretinous sub class of humanity that has been given birth by these tools.

The common variety facebook whore will have between 200-300 friends.

If they are using it for business purposes – well and good, however if, as was the case with one oxygen thief that I knew, one of these virtual parasites has, lets say 372 friends and then comes crying when “two people have deleted me from facebook”, expecting sympathy; then they may as well neck themselves and do us all a favour.

Fuck me… this, well, to put it bluntly, piece of human waste honestly expected me to care that she had lost two “friends” from her cast of hundreds – and, more to the point, was indignant when I asked her who they were.

“Well, um, I don’t know, but the point is that I am upset and my other friends cared but you don’t”

Indeed I don’t, and you had better wake the fuck up to yourself if you think that the measure of your worth is gauged by a number next to your name on an insidious marketing tool like facebook.

Who cares how many friends you have in the virtual world?

I have decided that enough is enough.

In the “real world” – the place that I choose to go about my daily life – you know, the one that requires effort, engagement on a real level, getting the fuck up out of bed in the morning even when you really can’t be arsed facing the world yet again, I probably have what I would consider 10-20 friends if one doesn’t count family and colleagues.

I got to the outrageous point whereby I had 120+ “friends” on facebook. Yes, I was guilty of allowing virtual friendless social parasites to befriend me, no doubt feeding their burgeoning friend lists with the arrogant fuel that their narcissistic desires fed merrily upon – but it was fun for me to imagine their horror and despair when they scanned their “friends” list only to discover that it had been reduced by one when I evilly deleted them.

Basically my new strategy with facebook is thus:

  • if I like you, you are in
  • if I work with you, to avoid complications and uneasy lunchroom conversation and you don’t have a direct line to HR or the exec com team, you are in
  • if there is some kind of mutual benefit to us being linked virtually (say, you can get me backstage at Cradle of Filth) you are in
  • if I would have a beer/wine or selected spirit with you without having to put my mind into neutral, you are in
  • if we have shared a night of drunken debauchery that doesn’t bear repeating here, you are probably in
  • if you were to tell me that your mother/father/brother/sister/cat/significant other had suffered a hideous disfigurement and I envisage that I couldn’t care less, you are out.
  • if I really don’t give a fuck what you are having for dinner, what time you are going to work, what your kids are doing, what household chores you are performing, what illness you are currently suffering, what you are doing on the weekend, how miserable you are feeling or what the fuck is going on with you and the love of your fucking life – you are out.
  • If you are a grade A oxygen thief – then that is my fault, you should never have been on the list in the first place.

Call me arrogant – I don’t give a fuck, but the time has come people – time to take a stand.

Who really cares if:

  • “Jemima really wishes that she didn’t have to work today” – toughen up bitch, the rest of us are dragging our arses out of bed
  • “Johnny is pissed off that he missed out on tix for Vibes” – get a fuckin Visa debit you moaning fuck
  • “George is devastated that Chloe left him for the pool boy” – should have learned how to fuck George – and waxed your back
  • “Matilda is drunk” – gee, thanks for that pearl of wisdom you sad fuck
  • “Cleopatra is hunting for Antony” – there are dating sites for that.

What I want to read are things like:

  • “Nathan is really pleased with the quality of his new midget butler”
  • “Harold has mastered the Pakistani Drill Press”
  • “Lethal was not amused by the Angry Pirate that she had received”
  • “Clint was devastated that he only had a handful more weeks of Warhawk left”

Get creative people – noone really gives a fuck if you are downtrodden, oppressed or bitter – that is what the news is for.

Harden up and cull people, cull until you can cull no more – even if it means culling me.

Time to commit some more congregaticide (faux latin for social networking culling)

Throwing faeces?

And in the news of the indescribable, this exceptionally odd case:

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0337093620070404

TORONTO (Reuters) – A Toronto school principal who pleaded guilty to throwing human excrement at a 12-year-old boy may get her job back, officials said on Tuesday.

“It’s quite possible she’ll end up back in her old position,” said Grant Bowers, a lawyer for the Toronto District School Board.

Maria Pantalone, 49, a sister of Toronto’s deputy mayor, was granted an absolute discharge on assault charges Monday after a judge said she “had already suffered enough,” according to court documents.

The charges stemmed from an incident on July 30, 2006, in which police said Pantalone threw feces at the boy, who was not one of her students, hitting him on the shoulder.

The circumstances of the assault cannot be described due to a court publication ban designed to protect the identity of the victim. The judge in the case, however, said they were unique.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. It was total, total frustration,” Pantalone testified, according to media reports.

She was suspended with pay from her position as an elementary school principal in August 2006.

In his ruling, the judge said Pantalone was “publicly embarrassed, if not humiliated. She has suffered more than most.”

Pantalone is on alternate assignment at school board offices and has no contact with students, Bower said.

Once the school board completes its own investigation, she could return to her previous duties.

“The investigation won’t take long,” Bower said. “The fact that she admitted to the offense is certainly a factor.”

A Toronto school board policy document details rules for the school at which Pantalone was principal that include the need to “show respect for yourself and others,” and “keep hands, feet and objects to yourself.”

Technorati Tags: , , , , , ,

For the love of effigies

Those crazy bastards over there in the sub-continent love their effigies don’t they?

Effigies rock

It has always amused me the burning of effigies – even more so because it tends to be quite prolific amongst cricket fans. This is as amusing as it is confusing.

The poor old Pakistanis and Indians have suffered humiliating defeats at the hands of Ireland and Bangladesh respectively (I don’t know which would be worse considering Jason Gillespie’s double ton against Bangladesh)

It has gotten even worse though with Indian fans not only drowning pictures of their players:

Not drowning, painting

… but storming and trashing the home of one of them:

Riot!

What a bunch of fucking muppets!

I wonder what would happen if they were as mad about soccer as they are of cricket…

It is time that we introduced the art of effigy burning to Australia I believe – the Rugby World Cup should give us a great opportunity to hone our skills.

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

 

 

 

Insanity

Just a quick post to discuss the insanity of our world…

In a week where:

- QANTAS was put on the open market (yet another Australian assett up for grabs…)

-Â A Garuda Airlines plane burst into flames

-Â A woman was killed by a cyclone in WA

- Brian Burke wasn’t mentioned in parliament

- Our lord and master Paul Keating made a foray into politics again

Things just didn’t make sense.

Masking tape Mufti

Gagged Mufti

Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali is quickly becoming the clown prince of Australia.

He would almost be amusing if he didn’t have the capability of being quite dangerous… actually, his latest speech is pretty funny.
In his latest speech, Hilali promises to “place a masking tape on my mouth in public for a period of 6 months, to discipline this mouth for uttering these words” if he is found by an independent panel to be:

“… guilty of giving justification for the crime of rape, that I have given incitement for the crime of rape, that I have claimed that any woman without the veil deserves to be raped or that she is the one responsible for the occurrence…”

Whilst it is debatable that his original speech could be said to be an incitement to rape, it certainly appeared to justify it on the grounds that the woman, as an “weapon of Satan” sashayed about suggestively with the sole intention of inviting Neanderthal knuckle dragging animals to do to her what they pleased. It also seemed to suggest that rape was never the mans fault as the woman had lured him into acting in such a manner.

This man is a liability to all Australians – but especially to the majority population of moderate Muslim Australians…

I really hope that an independent panel takes him up on his offer, it would be really funny seeing him walking around with a taped up mouth for six months… better still, one of those Pulp Fiction pool ball gags – that would be great!

Technorati Tags: , , , , , ,

Supporting the Glass House

There has been a lot of talk about why The Glass House was axed – most of it supportive of the cast and crew and critical of the ABC board, and rightly (no pun intended) so.

The master

(more…)

We will decide…

… what opinions are aired on the ABC and the shows upon which they are voiced.

The news that the Glass House has been axed is somewhat perplexing:

ABC stones Glass House

Glass House gets axed

I have somewhat of a scoop though:

The New Glass House

Right click on the image and select “view image” for a full size version.

The Glass House – a highly amusing, topical comedic talk show – in a period that it was enjoying its best ratings, has been inexplicably axed.

If you haven’t watched the show – go grab a copy now

Whilst large parts of it are scripted, the humour is more often than not, quite clever and certainly pulls no punches – but when it truly comes alive is when guests such as Arj Barker, Pinky Beecroft, HG Nelson and their ilk pick up the ball and run (away) with it.

(more…)

What the tea lady saw…

The “Mufti of Australia” (yes, the guy who telly school kids when they can wear casual clothes to school instead of a uniform) has released a statement “clarifying” his comments.

Sheik al-Hilali’s statement

Mufti Day

Interestingly enough, apparently it wasn’t he who filled his words with the context of violent crime and degrading attitudes toward innocent women – no, it was:

“some devious groups which lurk in the dark watching me, and who cannot tolerate the moderate, balanced way which I adopt to advocate for women’s issues [italics mine], national harmony and co-existence, and to hold fast to the love of our Australian home, to protect it from all forms of extreme thoughts and to reject all acts of violence and any act that breaches the rule of law.”

Hmmm… well, I tend to believe him, he is an Aussie after all – I mean, he has to be – he supports the Swans and no non-Aussie would even think twice about bothering to even pretend to enjoy AFL.
Up There Hilali

(more…)

Next Page »